‘The insecure often fight for identity and mistake rights for responsibilities. The more secure we become, the easier it is to live out of our divine nature, the ultimate place of rest’. – Bill Johnson
I found myself fighting for identity recently, although the concept of ‘fighting’ for my own identity makes no sense when I think about it. My true identity cannot be stolen, distorted or disposed of. It remains with me as it is me, my identity is God given. So why the defensiveness? Why the fight?
The root of it all is we forget whose hands our identity rests in. Our identity is placed firmly in the hands of God and He graciously bestows that identity into our hands. It takes a huge amount of trust in God to believe that our identity never rests in the hands of others, no matter who they are, what they have achieved or their position in life.
In my own moment of identity insecurity and defensiveness, I felt judged. The way others spoke to and addressed me, the things they said, all seemed to assume I lacked experience and knowledge of things where the opposite was true. I faced a choice of either listing off my ‘cv’ of experience and knowledge, bowing down to pride in the process- or saying nothing, allowing myself to be humbled.
It was a battle, I spoke a little of the things I had experienced but felt pride rearing its obvious head, and I didn’t like it at all. So, I stopped and said nothing, feeling indignant on the inside.
Then, in a quiet moment I sensed the Holy Spirit nudging me with this gentle reminder:
‘As long as God knows who you are and you know who you are- that’s all that matters’.
It was so simple and so obvious, but I had allowed lies to cloud my thoughts and judgment. The release I experienced when I regained a hold on the truth was extremely liberating. I let my defences down and focused on the task at hand.
God knew what He had placed within me. He knew what I had experienced in life, He knew the things I had learned in the process, and He would utilise those things in me as and when He needed to and not a moment before.
It takes an act of humility to refuse to defend our identities, to rest in who we are. But that is where we need to be, humbling ourselves under the mighty hand of God. For He gives grace to the humble…and His grace is what we need.